EGESHEGEDRE!

So I toast my dad as we sit down at our broad wooden table by the fireplace: having just returned from Budapest, I'm using the opportunity to show off the tiny bit of lingo I picked up.

It really is a small world: no sooner have we clinked glasses than a wide-eyed waitress appears at the table asking she had really just heard us speaking her native language.

We have to quickly dissemble and admit we are imposters, then she patiently waits while we explain the family's Hungarian connection which she has no reason whatsoever to be interested in.

It's a nice place.

Sadly, there is no goulash on the menu, but it's got everything else: gazpacho, mountain ham, artisan salamis and mortadella (anyone?) – not to mention the Pil Pil King prawns.

After the usual argument about who's going to have what so as not to double up, I go for the Fishy Trio to start – smoked mackerel pate, smoked trout and kiln potted salmon with toasted sourdough and pickled fennel (£9.95).

The smoked trout is rich and slimy (what's the nice way to say that?) and the pickled fennel cuts sharply through all that fish oil.

For my main I'm tempted by the lemon sole but, to avoid going too fishy, I opt instead for the beetroot and goats cheese tortelloni which comes with asparagus, peas, and broad beans, lemon vinaigrette and shaved beet and baby herb salad (£15.75).

In retrospect, it was slightly foolish to order something which wasn't really my first choice.

The tender pink-and-cream pasta pockets are stuffed with sweet beetroot, and the giant pink slices of beetroot on top are good fun.

The mountain of green stuff was all fresh and crunchy, and a certain lady I know in the local organic veg business would have devoured the whole mountain, but I feel slightly over-full of chlorophyll and cannot finish the mountain.

Dad chooses the dressed crab and is entirely happy with his choice.

I definitely can't judge the Eyston Arms properly based on this visit, so there's no option but to go back for another go, and this time I'm going to order exactly what I want – regardless of what anyone else is having.

Having said that, I also had the sticky toffee pudding for dessert (£6.95), which I devour pretty quickly, so I certainly didn't go to bed HUNGARY, ho, ho, ho! (that's enough - ed)