I HAD been looking forward to the opening of Mollie's Motel & Diner at Buckland like a kid waiting for Christmas.

This was largely because it was being opened by the Soho House group, which we in the Herald had been billing since 2016 as something like 'the most exclusive private members' club in the world'.

It wasn't that I wanted to be part of a club that wouldn't have me as a member anyway, but I love fine dining (see my previous review of Le Manoir, eg) and imagined that this would finally be my chance to get a taste of the kind of five-star food enjoyed by the elite.

My first surprise, therefore, was the fact that we were even able to book a table just three days after the star-studded opening.

As we parked the car and walked up to the entrance I had butterflies.

Inside we were welcomed breathlessly by several members of staff.

We gave our names - he had us on his list: he took us to our table; we were in!

Disappointingly, we were not seated in one of the nice booths with padded sofas but on hard chairs at a small table.

It was quite dark, and wearing just a shirt I was cold.

Still, I thought, I bet with these huge glass windows it would be brilliant in the summer with the sun streaming in. We're just not seeing it at it's best, I thought, and I should have brought a jacket.

The menus are single laminated sheets, just one side of food – burgers, salads, 'grill', various all-day breakfasts and desserts.

A breathless waiter came over and asked if we were ready to order.

We were, but when Katie ordered the veggie burger we were told they'd run out.

Disappointing, but not a big problem - maybe they'd been so popular since opening on Friday they had just run out of a few things. Then again, it wasn't full tonight.

We ordered some other things.

For a starter, we went for nachos with guacamole, which they call Avocado Dip Corn Chips (£5 - though Mollie's don't use pound signs, so it's just 5).

The guacamole was stodgy and didn't taste of much, the corn chips tasted cheap. I tried adding some of the smokey sauce on the table and it wasn't good. The hot sauce was ok.

For our mains, I ordered the veggie breakfast (7) and Katie went for the grilled aubergine with quinoa, rocket, tahini and chilli (9).

When our enthusiastic waiter breathlessly brought them out, he immediately explained that my hash brown was still on the way.

Less than a minute later a different waiter brought it over in its own special bowl.

I still can't work out what happened: did the kitchen tell the waiter to take the plate even though the single hash brown was going to take another 30 seconds? Did the waiter take it without the hash brown, then realise it was missing the hash brown on the way over? Or do they always serve the single, small hash brown in its own bowl?

After all, the baked beans came in their own infuriating little metal bowl.

I really don't care if some people don't like their beans touching the rest of their meal (I have a good friend who says she can't abide beans touching other things on her plate): those people need to grow up.

My breakfast was completed by two poached eggs, a pile of avocado cubes, half a huge beef tomato, one field mushroom and two thin slices of brown bread.

I personally don't really get beef tomatoes: I've never had one in this country that tasted of anything, and this one did not buck the trend. The mushroom and avocado didn't taste seasoned either.

The hash brown was nice and crunchy but to me, when I order an all-day breakfast, I want sausages; I want something greasy, salty, sweet; comfoting. I want a greasy spoon cafe pile on a plate because otherwise - why do it? This wasn't sterile – just underwhelming.

For dessert I went for the banana split (5).

This consisted of two bananas covered in Mr Whippy ice cream equivalent, drizzled in chocolate sauce and with four quarters of a strawberry stuck in it. It tasted like it sounds.

In retrospect, it was naive of me to think that the food at a roadside diner where you can get three courses for two people for 41.5 would be fine dining, no matter which private members' club happens to own the business.

On the drive home, we decided we would both rather eat at McDonalds, but thought it would probably be nicer to stay at Mollie's than at a Premier Inn.